I’ve been told that I’m a little bit passive-aggressive.
I didn’t really get it till I started evaluating some of the simple-yet-destructive words I was saying.
If you’ve encountered an act of passive aggression then you already know that it’s never the best way to resolve a conflict. And, if you’re like me and been dishing it out, you also know that it’s never the best way to resolve conflicts.
Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating for both parties involved. It’s unproductive and it makes you and others become less trusted.
Here’s 5 common passive-aggressive text phrases and the true meaning behind them. The next time you encounter them, you’ll know how to proceed a little better and in a more productive manner.
5 common passive-aggressive text phrases and the true meaning behind them
I once had a disagreement with a friend that took place over text messaging. When they dropped the ‘whatever’ response, I almost went through the roof. It was infuriating because I knew that they did care, they just didn’t want to keep that discussion going. Yes this person is mad, and now you are too. It’s not helping.
2. “If you really want to.”
This may appear to be accommodating at first, but don’t be fooled. Whenever you tell someone, or someone tell you this phrase, you’re actually being noncommittal.
It may sound like you’re going along with the plan, but inside, you’re not all that thrilled – but you just don’t know how to communicate those feelings, or you may think that the other person will be mad.
3. “Thanks in advance.”
I’m horrible at this one and something I’m working on each day. Another phrase that may appear innocent at first. But, it pretty much means that you’re expecting them to do whatever it is you’re asking and they pretty much have to do it. This damages your relationship with this person.
How can a two-letter word pack such a punch? Because most of the time it’s followed by text that is either awkward or it shows their agitation For example, “So… did you get my email?” The person on the other side is clearly agitated that you haven’t responded yet. And that’s a problem when you honestly haven’t had a chance to get back to them.
Or, it could be the beginning of an uncomfortable conversation, they just don’t know how to come out and say it. When someone says, “So…” to me, and then that weird pause, I have the almost irresistible desire to say, “so….what?” And make an exit.
5. “I was only joking.”
Sarcasm is on the most common manifestations of passive aggressiveness. If this person makes a comment that upsets you and this is what follows, then you know it wasn’t a joke at all.
They meant what they said, but are backing away to cover-up their true feelings. This is an especially damaging phrase when used in a relationship or (often) in front of other people, as a put-down.