Damp Experience At Kobis Restaurant Ikeja

So. Here we are at Kobis. Well, here I am. It’s a fast food cum bakery set up, and I’m here at their Ikeja GRA outlet, and today, it’s pouring with rain.

First off, Kobis is beautiful

It’s beautiful in that clean you-can-eat-off-the-floor sort of way. And just as well because Kobis themselves claim to be always fresh. It’s safe to assume they were referring to the food and not just the decor. But we’ll come to the food shortly. In the meantime, its easy and safe to say, this is the nicest looking fast food place I have been to in Lagos. It really is that nice. In fact, there are touches in here like the large format pictures which would sit well in a modern art gallery. Someone here clearly knows a thing or two about design.

There’s a see-through kitchen which housed shiny aluminum equipment

Very modern. Very gourmet looking. And then there’s the sink. Yes, the sink, where diners are expected to wash their hands after eating. This thing came right out of a magazine. kobis-3It even had colored mothballs (camphor) in it. Nice touch. Question: which fast food restaurant has quality panel wood finishing on its walls? Kobis does. And the avant-garde look is completed with a painted brick wall, looking like a work of art itself.

Sadly, that’s about all the good news at Kobis. The food display is typical. The old fashion glass display approach, with a Mr. Biggs-like lamp drying out all the promised Kobi freshness. Yet, the prices all reflect the highbrow look of the restaurant, in spite of the display shelf from a lowbrow joint. But, none of this would have mattered if the food itself had matched the ambiance of the place. It didn’t. And neither did the staff.

The gatemen looked through and then past me as I entered

The staff in the restaurant were a little better. But by and large, no one seemed particularly interested in my custom. Worst of all, the food was a miss. Small portions, and despite the promise of freshness, this was anything but. The food was a 6/10 at best.

Dining at Kobis was an underwhelming experience. Expectations were understandably high given how attractive the restaurant was. It seemed as if more money had been spent on the interior decorator than on the cooking staff and business strategists.

It was time to leave Kobis but, I had to stop to consider my approach to the car given the pouring rain. No more than 8 feet away sat one of the gatemen with an umbrella by his side. This man didn’t move. Instead, one of the waiters who had attended to me inside rushed out to grab the umbrella to walk me to my car. As he did so, he berated the gateman for his poor attitude. The gateman’s reasoning was unbelievable: apparently, he had seen so many people to their cars in the pouring rain that day, he was now tired. Were late comers like myself then to be punished for not leaving our houses earlier?

I have tried to sum up Kobis as best I can and all I keep coming up with is the proverbial “pretty face but bad character” girl no one wants to know after the initial meeting. While there can’t be any doubt about the promoter’s desire to succeed, the staff are clearly eating from a different dish.

Checking for Kobis online, I realized there was an outlet on the Island. At the Palms no less. Surely, this sort of service cannot be replicated at the Palms. The rent alone would ensure staff were wetting their ears with saliva trying to encourage customers. Maybe it’s a Mainland thing then. Who knows?

It’s a soggy 5/10 for Kobis.

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